Happy Halloween from Frankie and Geena

Post: October 31st, 2014

Happy Halloween from Frankie and Geena….ummmmm really Frankie??

        


Geena breaks down all the cool weekend events in San Diego on KUSI News Friday Oct 24th

Post: October 24th, 2014

This morning on @kusi_gmsd @kusi_news with @lisa_remillard #channel933 #fng933 #gmsd #kusi

A photo posted by geenathelatina (@geenathelatina) on

KUSI News – San Diego, CA

        


Geena breaks down all the cool events going on in San Diego this weekend on Good Morning San Diego on KUSI News

Post: October 17th, 2014

KUSI News – San Diego, CA

        


My Relationship Requirements

Post: October 6th, 2014

My requirements for my next relationship…

The word “requirements” sounds so harsh huh? In actuality though, I don’t think the word is harsh at all. In my opinion, “Relationship Requirements” are a necessity. As I’ve gotten older and have gone through many relationships (probably too many if you ask me) I have grown to learn what I will and won’t put up with in the future. I’ve grown to understand what I personally need to be the best me so that in turn I can be the best person for someone else. I’ve learned what qualities are important to me and what I expect from someone I plan to call my other half. I’ve also learned what I need to do in order to give someone else what they need to be the best them. Compromise is essential to any great relationship however there are a few things I won’t compromise on and these are them. Let’s call them my “Relationship Requirements.”

1) I believe that both people in the relationship should be treated with mutual respect and equality. Not one person’s opinion out rules the other ones. Not one person has the final say. Not one person does more chores, cooks more, works more, pays the bills more, takes care of the kids more, etc. Sure different arrangements can be made depending on schedules, interests, and circumstance, however at the end of the day both parties need to be able and willing to step up and do just as much as the other person when called upon/needed. God made man and woman equal and that’s how we should treat each other. Decisions need to be made as one, together, in agreement and I firmly believe that in order to create a long-lasting relationship you must be a team, not a dictatorship.

2) Each person needs to support and help flourish each other’s interests. Know what makes the other person happy. Whether it be a hobby, an activity, a job, reading, dancing, hanging out with friends, having alone time, spending time with family, going to the movies, fishing, working out, etc. whatever it may be, understand that your significant other NEEDS that in their life. It is your job to not only encourage those activities but to make sure that your significant other engages in them on the regular. Contrary to what you may want to believe YOU are not the only person or thing that makes your significant other happy. They have other interests that fulfill them and it’s your job to encourage those interests. Let the other person do what they need to do (without you) to be happy. And in the end you will see that it will only make you happier also.

3) Have Compassion, Patience, and Understanding for one another. Instead of getting mad when your significant other is in a bad mood due to a bad day at work or whatever be patient and have compassion for the other person. Try to understand whatever it is they are going through and be there for them, even if being there for them means just giving them space if that’s what they need. Lay off them a little. Give them a break that day, because they probably need it more than you think and one day you’ll need it too. I know these actions are easier said than done, especially when your significant other is getting on your last nerve (when you didn’t even do anything) but if you can master the art of patience, compassion and understanding you will avoid a lot of fights and in turn your significant other will be more appreciative of you at the end of the day when it’s time to go to bed. Try it, it works 

4) My future significant other must have some sort of spiritual connection with God and the world around them, sympathy for others, love for humanity and animals, and at the end of the day must have an overall damn good heart. I want the person I call my other half to have the same sort of love and compassion as I do for people and the world around them. I deeply care about others and do my best to make the world a better place and I would expect my significant other to be the same type of person. A good heart goes a long way, in my opinion anyway.

5) Whoever I’m with needs to have my back, as I will have theirs. Now this doesn’t mean stand by them as they go commit a crime or whatever however in the heat of the moment or during a difficult situation I will ALWAYS standby my significant other and I expect the same in return. Now you don’t have to always agree with your significant other and I’m a firm believer that if you feel like the other was wrong in any circumstance you need to tell them. However do it in the privacy of your own home, not in front of others. In the moment, have each other’s backs, always. Call me hood or whatever but that’s what we do.

6) There must be complete trust between one another. I’m too old to play stupid games and I think one of the most important factors to having a loving relationship is trust. I want to be able to fully trust the other person I am with and I want them to be able to fully trust me. I want a relationship in which there isn’t even a doubt between one another. Be honest up front, tell each other everything that needs to be told, and move forward in creating a loving, trusting relationship.

7) Be nice to one another. I hate seeing people fight in public or put each other down. I feel like you should treat your significant other as if they are the most important person in the room. Be nice, loving, and caring towards one another. Yeah, I’m sure there will be fights at times and you won’t always be able to be so “nice” however try your best (on the daily) to be gentle towards one another. Remember that other person is your #1 so treat them like it ;) .

8) Give the other person the affection they need. This one is personally hard for me because I didn’t grow up in an affectionate family, however if I meet someone who needs that, than I will give it to them. There is a statistic out that says one should give at least 8 hugs a day. Wouldn’t that be awesome if you gave your significant other 8 REAL hugs per day?? No matter how bad a mood someone is in, or how upset they are, a hug always brightens up each other’s day. And if you think about it, is a hug really that hard to give?? Give them more than hugs, but for now I’ll just leave it at that ;) .

9) Communicate with your significant other! This should be the easiest yet sometimes it’s the hardest thing to do. I communicate for a damn living and I still can’t seem to figure it out! However I am working on it. Figure out how to communicate. Don’t hold things in until it’s too late and you explode. Tell the other person immediately if something they did bothered you. Communicate your feelings in whichever way you can. Some people are better at writing them down (me) and some are better at just blurting them out. Whichever way you find works best for you and your relationship do it, on the regular, like every day! Communicate! I feel like 99% of the problems people have in ANY kind of relationship could have been prevented or solved if someone would have just communicated properly or communicated at all.

10) Love one another. Don’t just say it show it. Do the little things that matter. Surprise each other with a homemade dinner every now and then. Leave a nice note for the other person before you leave to work. Come home with flowers or a doughnut (if that’s what makes the other person happy). Show the other person that you love them on a daily basis through your actions, not your words. I know it’s an old saying that we all know but “Actions Speak Louder than Words” really is the truth. Don’t just talk about it, be about it.

After writing these I scrolled back up to read them all and I thought to myself the following…

1) There are a lot more things I would like to add, however this is already getting long so I will just leave it at 10. Maybe in another blog one day lol..

2) “Wow, Geena you sound like you live in a fantasy world.” However, after thinking about this thought for a bit more, this is what I have to say on that.

If you really think about the above 10 “requirements” they really aren’t too hard to do. In fact they are very simple things that don’t require much work at all. Sure, each person and each relationship will have different “Relationship Requirements” depending on what is important to you; however, I highly encourage you to make your own “Relationship Requirements” today. Whether you are single or are currently in a relationship, think about what it is that is TRULY important to you and make sure you and your significant other (or future significant other) incorporates those things into your lives. You deserve to have a significant other who is on the same page as you and its ok for you to set standards on what you want your “Relationship Requirements” to be. And remember, you don’t EVER have to settle for anything less.

Ok I’m going to go to bed now because this was all WAAAYYYY too much relationship talk for me! LOL…Nite!
Xoxo- Geena

        


Geena on Good Morning San Diego KUSI San Diego

Post: September 29th, 2014

KUSI News – San Diego, CA

        


Frankie V’s #SorryNotSorry Birthday party at the Hard Rock Hotel Club 207

Post: September 29th, 2014

And Here are a few pics from the night…Thank you to EVERYONE who came out! We appreciate each and every single one of you!! And shout-out to everyone at the Hard Rock for letting us have the party there and for taking such good care of us.  We love you guys!  xoxo- Frankie and Geena

 

And some more :)

        


Text Message Conversations Are Not Real….

Post: September 7th, 2014

Text message conversations are not real. Neither are Instagram posts, tweets on Twitter, posts on Facebook, videos via Snapchat, etc. We as human beings living in a digital world have lost a sense of what is real and what is not and in my opinion, this is why.

In this day of the digital world, we are losing out on one of the greatest things God has ever bestowed upon us, one on one human interaction. Social media makes it so easy for one to make up this perfect online persona. Anyone can be whoever they want, say whatever they want, do whatever they want (or make it seem as if they are doing so), and look however they want (especially if they’ve perfected the right angle). I know this, because I do it a bit myself. Trust me; my life is not as exciting as it seems online. The “cool parties” I’m posting that I’m at, are probably really not that cool. My make-up and hair probably isn’t that perfect in real life (ask Frankie V in the morning, he knows). I am definitely not as inspirational as my posted quotes may make me seem to be (although I would like to think that I am somewhat inspirational at times). Filters and Camera Apps made my DIY project look THAT much cooler and all the Chanel and Louis Vuitton bags are definitely not all mine (they’re mostly my friend Christine’s). Do you see what I’m saying?

Recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that text messages are not real either. Yes, text conversations may be a little more authentic than social media posts however when that one on one human interaction is eliminated from relationships, whichever kind they might be (love, friends, family, etc.) that rawness and realness is lost. Let me explain the difference between a text message and a real in person conversation. Text messages are most times, well thought out. Via text, one can be witty, compassionate, angry, sexy, nice, mean, funny, confident, etc. A text message really can be whatever emotion you want it to be; AFTER you take the time to decide what it is or who it is you’re trying to portray. Is that really you though?

In person, we don’t get to filter those emotions. In person, you don’t have time to think about your reaction or think about what you are going to say. You are raw. You are real. You are uncensored. And if you make a mistake or say something you probably shouldn’t have, at least it was you! At least it was your real, true, authentic self.

In person, your face expression alone can speak a thousand words. Via text we get an emoticon that was carefully chosen to display the exact emotion the other person WANTS us to see. Is it their real emotion though? Probably not! It’s a damn emoticon for God’s sakes!

In person you also get to actually feel what the other person is saying. You can tell if one is sad, or happy, or excited, or real, or fake. You can physically feel all those things when one is in front of you. You can see it in their mannerisms, in their movements, in their facial expressions. Via text you can’t do that.

Instead of actually meeting up for coffee these days, people keep in touch via posting comments on Instagram (Miss you, let’s catch up soon xoxo!). Instead of telling someone how you feel directly, people “sub-tweet” now knowing that the other person will know EXACTLY that that post was meant for them. Side note: if you don’t know what sub-tweet is here is the definition (from the Urban Dictionary of course). “Sub-tweet: A tweet (message posted on the website Twitter) that mentions a Twitter member without using their actual username. Usually employed for negative or insulting tweets.” By the way, you can sub-Facebook and sub-Instagram also (You know that mean quote someone posted that we all know was meant for his or her ex? That’s what I’m talking about).

Now I’m sure not EVERYTHING someone may text, tweet, or post is fake. There is always a little bit of truth behind every text, post, email, etc. However on all those outlets all we are getting is a polished version of the truth. It actually really angers me that these days, no one feels a need to call one another anymore when first establishing a relationship. It’s all via text. Most people probably don’t even know what the other persons voice sounds like. Who has ever talked to someone via text or online forever and then when you finally hear their voice for the first time, you’re kind of thrown off?

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have the uncensored, raw, truth because at least that’s what it is, the truth. I’d take someone’s flaws any day over a manufactured perfected version of who they really are. I’d rather create REAL IN PERSON authentic relationships with others over fake ones via social media, text messages, or email. If you want to get to know me, let’s meet up for coffee or a glass of wine. If that’s too hard for you, then I will assume that our relationship really is not that important to you anyway.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we as human beings need to get back to the basics. Yes, social media and texting is fun and all good however let’s re-establish those one on one personal relationships with one another. There is something to say about having a nice long conversation/laugh over coffee or having an intellectual chat with someone while walking at the beach. Those are the kind of relationships I want in my life and my hope would be that you would realize the importance of those relationships too. So put down your phone today, look someone in the eye, and actually talk to them. Maybe you’ll finally get to know the person you’ve been looking for all along.

        


Geena on Good Morning San Diego KUSI this morning

Post: August 21st, 2014

KUSI.com – KUSI News – San Diego CA – News, Weather, PPR>

Geena was on KUSI this morning talking about all the cool events going on in San Diego this weekend!

        


He is there when you need him…

Post: August 19th, 2014

Sometimes I get really sad.  Like extremely sad.  I don’t really know what causes these moments of sadness but they happen from time to time.  You see, I’ve been battling depression ever since my brothers were murdered 11 years ago.  What people don’t know about depression is that usually people who are depressed are the ones you would least expect to be depressed.  We are good at putting on a happy face.  We probably seem like we have it all together most of the time and we are usually in a good mood, on the surface anyway.  You see, most people who are depressed became depressed for a good reason, which resulted in us probably being some of the strongest people you know at the same time.  We have been through a lot in our lives and have learned how to put a smile on our face and know when and how to move on with our day.  However, that doesn’t mean that we don’t still feel those deep, dark feelings, we are just good at covering them up.

There are different levels of depression and different ways to deal with depression.  Some people who are depressed are only like that at times.  Some are like that always.  And some have good days and bad days.  Some like to talk about their feelings and some do not.  I am one who does not like to talk about their feelings.  I don’t call up a friend when I’m feeling sad.  I actually don’t let anyone know.  I usually just deal with it on my own.  I will retreat to my room and maybe sleep all day.  Or choose not to go anywhere.  Or maybe I won’t talk to anyone.  Sometimes I run at the bay to clear my mind.  Most people would never even know anything was wrong with me, even those closest to me.  For example, I currently have three people sitting in my living room and I’m sure they have no clue.  Some people deal with their depression with medication and things like that.  I have chosen not too.  I believe that the only way to truly fix or try to fix your inner struggles is to deal with them holistically and with God.  Medication only masks the pain, it doesn’t fix it.  I try to stay away from medication whenever possible.

I’m also an Empath.  If you don’t know what that is, google it.  If it sounds crazy to you, then you probably aren’t one.  And if you aren’t one, please don’t judge those who are. If you can relate to it, then maybe you are one too.  I don’t tell many people about being an Empath because let’s be honest, it does sound kind of crazy.  In fact, before this blog, I had only told 4 people about it.  However, if you are like me, and have felt it, please know that you aren’t crazy.  I’m right there with you.  People say being an Empath is a gift; however I haven’t experienced it being a gift just yet.  I’m still trying to figure out how to control it and hopefully one day I will get to experience it as a gift and reap all the benefits that being an Empath has to offer.  However, right now, it’s just a burden.  The reason why I’m telling you this is because I think that sometimes my sadness comes from this so-called “gift.”

I started seeing a therapist a few months ago to deal with these bouts of sadness and other feelings I have.  However, even talking to a therapist is hard for me.  Like I said before, I don’t like to talk about my feelings to anyone.  I’m good at shutting people out.  It’s become almost second nature to me. I learned to do it a long time ago.  I’m very independent and have learned to deal with everything on my own.  But as I grow older I do know that it is important to address these issues in order to grow into a healthy human being.  So that’s what I’m trying to do and that’s why I started going to therapy.  She is a holistic therapist and is teaching me various meditation techniques and things like that to try to get a better grip on all this.

Anyway, today was one of those days where I just felt sad all day.  There wasn’t one thing that set me off; it’s just an unexplainable feeling.  I’ve read that usually Sundays and Mondays are the toughest for Empaths.  (If you want to learn more, here’s a link to a good article on “Traits of an Empath.” http://theknowing1.wordpress.com/traits-of-an-empath/ I personally have every single one of these traits on this list.)  I slept a lot today, my back was KILLING me, and I just wanted to be alone.  On days like this, when I lie in bed crying over really nothing, I usually will pull out my phone and watch today’s “Miles A Minute” video from Pastor Miles McPherson’s app.  He’s the pastor at the Rock Church here in San Diego and I absolutely love his videos.  I feel as if they are always speaking to me directly on any given day.

However, although they are a GREAT help, sometimes I need something more.  Tonight as I was just putting down my phone after watching two of his videos, and was bawling, I got a text message from an old friend.  I haven’t talked to this friend in at least 6 months, maybe even a year. The text read, “Hi friend.  Are you doing ok?” It was as if she had a camera in my room and could see what I needed just at that moment.  Or maybe it was God who had her send that message to me.  Either way, she was EXACTLY what I needed. I personally think she’s an Empath too; however we’ve never discussed any of that.  We went back and forth a bit via text and I opened up to her a little bit about what I was going through.  And even though I’m probably telling you more than I told her (because remember, I don’t tell people much) our conversation was just what I needed to stop crying and open up my laptop to write this blog.

My friend is such a beautiful soul.  She is just one of those people who just “knows” when you need her no matter how long you haven’t spoken to each other.  She is always so positive and encouraging and is big on “energy” which I am too.  I jokingly asked her tonight if she was psychic and she responded with, “Just running on energy.”  Some people may think our whole “energy” thing is crazy but I’m a HUGE believer in positive/negative energy type stuff.  I feed off other people’s positive energy and the negative I try to stay away from.  I am thankful God put her in my life.  I think we relate to each other on a deeper level because we are the same.  Sometimes I just know stuff too.  I know when people need me or need something.  And even though it’s sometimes overwhelming to deal with it all, when my good friends need me, they know I’m there.

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to share a bit of my life with you.  I had two people yesterday ask me why I hadn’t written any blogs lately.  I told both of them that I needed to be inspired to write one.  And surprise, surprise today I was inspired.  By the way, I don’t write these blogs to get any sympathy or any nice text messages from friends (even though I do appreciate them from you all), I write these blogs because I know someone out there can relate.  And maybe by being able to share my deepest feelings with strangers on the internet (as crazy as that sounds) I will be able to help someone who may be going through the same thing.  Oh and to my real life friends, please don’t try to talk to me about any of this, because even though I share here, I’m still the same Geena at the end of the day…and I probably don’t want to talk about any of this with you in person, no offense to anyone, that’s just not how I am.  Hopefully one day that will change (hence me going to therapy) but not right now.  Oh and I do feel better now after I’ve written this blog, so don’t feel bad.  That’s the other half of the reason why I write these blogs.  They are very therapeutic :)

Xoxo- Geena

        


A Relationship With No Gender Roles…

Post: July 29th, 2014

It’s 2:01am on Tuesday July 29th, 2014.  Hi, my name is Geena and I suffer from insomnia.  I also suffer from PTSD which could be the cause of my insomnia however that’s not what today’s blog is about.  I’m only telling you this so you get a peak at my frame of mind right now (just in case I end up deleting this blog later).  I’ve never written about this topic nor have I ever really voiced my true opinions about this in fear of offending close friends or family members.  However, my mom taught me to always stand up for what I believe in and use my voice when needed and since this topic has been on my mind lately, that’s what I’m finally going to do.

Earlier today I posted the above quote on my Instagram page.  Within an hour it had over 400 likes.  I actually stole the quote from my friend Yaya.  She and her husband have been married for 14 years and she says the above quote is why.  I absolutely heart it.

A little background on me: I come from a huge Mexican family (I seriously can’t even tell you how many people are in my family).  I grew up in an area where 90% of the population is Mexican (if not more).  Growing up, all my friends were Mexican, all my boyfriends were Mexican and all I ever ate was pretty much Mexican food (I swear the first time I ever had sushi was after I was out of college).  Mexican is who I am and all I ever really knew….until I went to college.

I’m going to preface the subject I am about to talk about with this: I love being Mexican.  I love my culture.  I appreciate where I came from.  I love hearing the stories my Grandpa tells me about being in a mariachi band in Mexico and performing live on the radio.  I love hearing stories from my mom, uncles, and aunts about where they grew up and what they did to survive.  I love seeing how far they’ve all come and I love having a huge family.  I love having lots of cousins and lots of kids constantly running around.  I love, love, love being Mexican.  There is something about the loyalty and family in our culture that is untouchable, in my opinion.

With that said, there are things that occur at times in my culture that I absolutely cannot stand; one of them being, gender roles.  Now I’m not saying that EVERY Mexican family is like this nor am I saying that Mexicans are the only ones where this sort of gender role assignment exists.  I’m just talking about the things I have seen personally.

Growing up, I saw lots of people  in my community abide by similar gender roles (when I say lots, I’m talking about family, friends family, neighbors, etc.).  Some cases were more extreme than others however they all existed, except in my household (I’ll discuss that later).  The women were seen as the homemakers.  They cooked, and cleaned, and took care of the kids.  They made sure dinner was ready and served immediately as their husbands got home from work.  It wasn’t something they necessarily always wanted to do; it was something that was just expected of them.   Most women didn’t work and if they did, they were still expected to have food on the table, the kids taken care of, and the house cleaned all before their husband came home.  If not, it wasn’t going to be good.

I’ve seen families where women had no voice.  They couldn’t make a decision on their own and had to ask their husband permission for everything, only for him to pretty much always say no.  I’ve seen some of the brightest, once lively women slowly turn into a face full of despair and lifelessness.  I’ve seen women get in trouble or yelled at for not having the food served on time or for it not tasting “how it’s supposed to taste.”  I’ve seen women slave over meals all day long for MANY family members only to be the ones also doing the cleaning up after the feast.  All while the men and male children sit there, not ever lifting a finger, not even offering to help.  I’ve seen women be at their husband’s beck and call only for them to get yelled at in return for not doing something right.  “This isn’t the right salsa! It’s not hot enough!” Seriously, no joke.

It’s just an accepted way of life in our culture.  That’s how it is. That’s how it always has been.  It wasn’t until I became an adult and started experiencing things outside of my little circle that I realized that that was not how the rest of the world lived.  “You mean the girls don’t always have to serve the men in the house first?  You mean there are guys out there that actually get up and put food on their own damn plate ANNNDDD even serve themselves their own drink???  You mean there are guys out there who actually like to do the cleaning, cooking, and serving??? WTF?!!”  Yeah, those were all the thoughts that crossed my mind as I slowly started to experience the real world.  I know this may sound foreign to some of you, but please know that to others it’s very real.  This has existed for centuries and yes this still exists right now, in 2014.  Sure things are slowly changing however it’s still very much real and alive (Trust me; I see it every time I go home).  And that’s why I am sitting here typing (at now 3am in the morning) saying, it’s time to break the cycle.

Don’t get me wrong. By no means am I saying that women should never cook for their men or women should never “serve” their men.  I think that if it’s something a woman genuinely wants to do, then by all means do it!  But it should never get to the point where it is EXPECTED and where you even get in trouble for not doing it.  I don’t care what you tell me that will never be right in my mind.  I don’t think anything should ever be EXPECTED in a relationship from either side (yes I’m talking to you gold diggers…it’s about time you go out and start making your own money too).

Now, if in your household you have decided that one person likes to cook and the other likes to do the yard work and that’s how you have worked it out, then by all means do that.  I’m not talking about you.  I’m talking about households where chores and daily activities have become expected and so routine that you don’t even realize anything is wrong with the way you have been living your life for so many years.

I also believe that everyone should have an opinion and believe that not one person’s opinion is better than the other.  I understand that every relationship has its own ways of making it work however when one person’s soul is being sacrificed, that is something that needs to be recognized and fixed, ASAP.

As for me, I wouldn’t call myself a feminist.  I’d call myself more of an equal opportunist.  I think every person male or female (regardless of race, class, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc.) should be treated as an equal.  However, I also understand that a man needs to feel like a man and therefore needs to be treated like one.  At the same time, I feel that women are queens and need to be treated like a queen, always.  It goes both ways.  When both sides have a mutual respect and love for each other, great things happen.  I’ve seen it.

Luckily for me, my mom decided a long time ago, that she would never submit to any of these gender roles.  She taught me how to be an independent woman.  She taught me to make my own money.  She taught me to never depend on anyone else.  My mom is probably the strongest woman I know and I thank her for teaching me to be just like her.  I also thank my dad for never imposing these gender roles on my mom.  I thank him for letting her be who she is without ever questioning it.  I thank him for never treating my mom like she was second to him and for not allowing me to grow up in a house where the above actions were acceptable.  I thank him for showing me how a man should treat a woman, as his equal.

Till next time…

xoxo- Geena